For the past week and a half I’ve been following the news of Lamar Odom’s recent overdose and recovery (the legit stuff) and I’m not surprised to see that Khloe Kardashian has been by his side the whole time. I’m also not surprised at all of the criticism that her and the rest of the Kardashian/Jenner family are getting; “they’ll use this for ratings”, “they’re making it about them”, “it’s the Kardashian curse.” It’s all very brutal but to be expected with America’s most overexposed family.
The latest story revolves around the couple calling off their pending divorce. That may or may not be a good thing but, married or not, there is love.
I don’t necessarily “keep up with the Kardashians” but I have seen enough shows in the past to know that what Khloe and Lamar had was, without a doubt, real love. You can chalk it up to great editing, a convincing storyline, whatever- but they were the real deal.
Sadly, married couples get divorced all the time. We assume that they grew apart, fell out of love or there was perhaps some more serious issues going on. But divorce doesn’t always mean the end of love. Have you ever loved someone so much but, for whatever reason, you just couldn’t be together? Or maybe you love someone but they can’t seem to get it together so you’re faced with a tough choice. It’s the classic case of “I love you but I love me more.”
My parents divorced when I was just a kid but it’s no secret that my mother will always be the greatest love of my father’s life. I know this because it’s what he constantly tells me when he’s had a little too much to drink, which is often. Why he couldn’t get his own issues under control is something he has had to deal and for that I’m sure he deals with a lot of guilt. When I think of my own marriage, I can’t imagine ever not loving my husband. We get angry and fight just like other couples do and if we ever decided not to be married anymore, I would still love him and that would be the even bigger tragedy. But if shit hit the fan, we would always come together as a family. That’s love. No amount of legal paperwork can change that.
I can only imagine how difficult it is to divorce someone that you’re still madly in love with and I can’t imagine having to make the decision to walk away from that. But, at the end of the day, Lamar was, and clearly still is, an addict. All the love in the world will not change him. An addict will choose his drug of choice over love almost every time. That’s not to say that an addict does not love his spouse or loved ones. But addiction has a strong hold and thinking you can change an addict is foolish.
We’re hearing in various stories in the media that the Kardashians are to blame for Lamar’s drug use and it makes me want to scream. There is no one to blame. I hate that word because it eliminates the real issue; personal choice. If we agree that our actions are our own personal choice then we cannot just go around blaming others. No one likes to think that a loved one is choosing drugs over us or that they are choosing their addiction instead of getting help. And perhaps they’re right; anyone who knows an addict knows that it’s not that simple. An addict doesn’t feel like he or she has a choice. To them, the decision is not theirs to make.
The truth is that the only person responsible for Lamar Odom is Lamar Odom.
Lamar’s recovery is nothing short of a miracle and the hopeless romantic in me likes to think that Khloe’s love somehow brought him back. The faith in me also believes in the amazing power of prayer. So, with all these amazing miracles that have been afforded to Mr. Odom, the real miracle will be how he chooses to live the rest of his life, this second chance that he has been so lucky to get. Will he revert back to his old ways or will he choose love, not just love for those who have shown their support but love for himself? Well, it’s his choice.